Added: Aften Benevides - Date: 19.08.2021 18:01 - Views: 29458 - Clicks: 747
In high school, we begin to experience freedoms not ly given to us. We start working, driving, flirting, exploring. The floodgates open for us to try new things, live differently, and create friendships with longevity. However, many teens find themselves aimlessly meandering through their first real relationships. As teenagers, we are constantly exposed to the turbulent, unpredictable, and terrifyingly permanent world of social media. We are bombarded with information: , pictures, videos, bright colors and images. Our scrolling le us down a never-ending rabbit hole.
We become distracted for almost hours at a time, scrolling and analyzing the pictures that only document the sunny side of certain situations. According to the Pew Research Center , 9 out of 10 teens between the ages of use social media. But have we ever taken a step back and really looked at the content we ARE consuming? Cool makeup looks, at-home workouts, influencers, celebrities? One of the most damaging things we as teens are exposed to is this fairy-tale, picture-perfect narrative of the perfect couple.
Two attractive, able-bodied, stylish people going on dates, watching the sunset, surprising their ificant others with love letters and meaningful gifts; the romance envy NEVER ends. These cute, warm, almost painfully emotional depictions of high school sweethearts have thrown us for a loop. What does being in love even feel like? When am I even supposed to fall in love? Does anyone really know what a relationship consists of at our age? Love outside the familiar and platonic parameters is a new experience for our age group.
Who can blame us for desiring these partnerships? We see two attractive human beings that not only have material wealth, but they seem to have the perfect lives. Not to mention, there are certain algorithms in place that make sure the content consumed caters to a particular racial demographic. Even though divisiveness might not be the intention, these predetermined biases carry the essence of discrimination.
As much as we would love to believe that as teens we all experience these partnerships and the sweet, beautiful memories that come with it, we have to understand that there is not one perfect relationship. In my personal experience meandering through the dating pool of hormone-fueled monsters also known as teenagers , I have experienced some wonderful moments, and the not-so wonderful ones. I have experienced the picnics, the fancy dates, going to the movies. However, my relationships are no strangers to brevity. I have experienced the lying, the cheating, the late night tears and the nastiest arguments.
Too much to tell. To keep a long story short, I realized something that is very important about people my age. Correction: Do we even know what we want, at all? Before I ended my relationship, I asked myself a set of questions:. How is this relationship affecting my mental health, well-being, and overall quality of life? After that breakup, I learned a lot about who I was and what I wanted in my life.
It wasn't until we took that very long break and reconnected that I realized that this person and I weren't compatible at this moment in our lives. It takes a long time to learn that much about yourself. Self-reliance manifests itself in different ways. Taking initiative and choosing yourself over another person isn't selfish at all. It is a of growth. A lot of teenagers think that when they break up with their ificant other, there won't ever be somebody like that in their lives again. That's simply not true. We're still developing, we're still growing, and we're still learning how to be better human beings.
Our lives are just getting started. After that breakup, I decided I would take more initiative for myself and prioritize what makes me happy. However, I was really curious to see how other people deal with relationships, long-term relationships and breakups. I interviewed couples and single teens between the ages of of various sexualities , races, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds. When I asked these questions, I expected pretty similar answers. My first interview was with Esmeralda F, When I asked Esmeralda what the most important value in her relationship was, she replied with what seems to be the most common answer: trust.
If you don't trust your ificant other, then there's a problem. Adam 17 also describes his emphasis on trust. His longest relationship in high school lasted 2 years. You just have to be straight up and forward about the boundaries you want to establish. You can't beat around the bush with those kinds of things. Boundaries… What does that word mean? As teenagers, experiencing urges for romantic and sexual companionship can often blind us from the situations we end up in. It is important to lay down ground rules before we jump headfirst into relationships. Communication ends up being our best friend when it comes to this!
Think about where your priorities lie. Are you dating to marry? Is it bad to date with the intention of experience rather than longevity? Do you want to be intimate with this person? After all, these are the most important learning stages. If the shoe fits? Wear it. Own it, in fact. Emily F,17 and her boyfriend Max M,17 have been dating for almost two years.
When I asked these two what they value most in their relationship, they both emphasized communication. I always establish boundaries by having a heart-to-heart when necessary. It's always important to have boundaries so there's nothing that could offset your trust with your ificant other. He finds love to be a motivating force. Being in love has elevated his outlook on life. They both just graduated high school. It took 2 years to get my girl to like me. This was a very common piece of information that was shared by the majority of the people who were interviewed.
They both agreed on emphasizing trust, comfort, and gratitude. The factors behind their desire or lack thereof to be single really varied. However, their answers seem consistent with those of the couples. His last relationship lasted 8 months. Newly single Evan gets raw and real about his values when it comes to his relationship.
Some different interpretations of love also arise. People love money, sports, cars, makeup, books. They love their career, kids, mother and father. Love is the bond, the connection between two people. The Greeks have seven words for various types of love. After all, there are different magnitudes of attraction, relation, and intimacy. Whether or not you experience these kinds of relationships during your teen years, remember that our teenage brains have not entirely developed. We have only experienced a fraction of what we WILL live through.
However, some of the teens that I DID interview had some unique and valuable experiences that were more painful than romantic. This specific interview was one of the most thorough, inspiring, and yet heartbreaking to hear. He ruined it for me… that lasted 4 years. Even though she chooses not to pursue dating after the situation, she provides a very insightful perspective on establishing boundaries. A boundary I have is [to not talk] me into doing something I am not ready for.
Also, not to use things against me. It can also be something you want in a relationship. The majority of these interviewees disclosed what they really look for in the relationship. The answers no surprise tend to be pretty similar. The majority of people were really just looking for someone to grow, spend time and have fun with. Gabby F,17 has been dating her boyfriend Davis for about a year and a half. She considers him her best friend and boyfriend all in one. It's always wanting to be around that person because they make you laugh and bring you so much joy.
But it's also just a feeling of completeness when they are there. Sometimes, relationships fabricate themselves organically and require little to no searching. Love falls right in front of them when they least expect it. However, some people don't have much luck and end up meandering through a talking stage and getting stuck there for a while. Not a lot of people have the privilege or luck of falling in love with their best friend. Of course, in the absence of such a strong, predetermined, platonic bond, the notorious talking stage enters the mix.
Weird, virtual romances can be tricky to navigate for some. They could be playing you… Someone who wants to be with you should be willing to go through anything with you. But if someone doesn't, that might just mean it's not the right time. A lot of the queer folks expressed some sort of negative memories about coming out, experiencing emotional trauma because of family finding out, or having to end relationships because of the nature of their relationship.
Of course, at Teen Connect, we are all about inclusivity. Emotional trauma also comes as baggage to some of these relationships. Sometimes, families are not as supportive or much less encourage these relationships with their.Steps to dating in high school
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