Added: Marisela Hildebrand - Date: 11.09.2021 21:40 - Views: 24660 - Clicks: 6006
Everyone knows that long distance relationships are hard work, but what does that mean, exactly? What are the most common and serious long distance relationship problems out there? Can they be fixed, or are most long distance relationships ultimately doomed? Long distance relationships can totally work. They can even prove to be good for you, for a season. I know this first-hand—I met my husband via when he was living miles away. Long distance relationships are tricky to navigate well. What are the most common long distance relationship problems, and how should you deal with them?
Ever gotten stuck in a rut and struggled to find things to talk about with your long distance love? Have you ever felt heartsick with longing to be with your partner, but also feel like you just have the same-old tired conversations over and over again when you get on the phone?
This is one of the most common long distance relationship problems. One easy short-term fix for this is to come up with some questions to ask your ificant other! Or save yourself the time and grab a book of discussion questions that will spark hours of fun and fascinating talk time. Here is a good one for couples in LDRs:.
Another helpful tip is to try to relax about this. You might have a season where you talk every day, while other times you only connect once every couple of days. Wait just a minute, you might be wondering. In a new long distance relationship, spending hours and hours every single day on the phone or Skype breeds an intensity that can move you along too fast, and establishes intense communication patterns that can be difficult to change later. That lack of balance will only hurt you in the long run.
Try to talk, text, and write at a pace that feels sustainable and balanced, and make sure you are still spending some energy and time on other important things in life fitness, friends, and other sorts of fun. Check out this article for a more in-depth look at this issue. Have you ever sent a text and then stared at the phone impatiently, waiting for them to answer you right away??
We all have, right? Or are they routinely blowing you off and leaving you in limbo for long periods of time? Are your hopes and expectations about response time reasonable? And are they coming mostly from your genuine excitement to connect with your SO, or are they often coming from a place of needing the contact and reassurance that they are interested in you to feel happy? Also, check out this piece on healthy communication. If your love moves far away and some aspects of your relationship pause or slow down, the rest of life continues.
Neither do they. You are both accumulating experiences. Some of these experiences will change you. No matter how much you love each other, there is a real chance that a slow drift during your time apart will cause you to grow away from each other in ways that frequent flier miles cannot fix.
This is one of the hardest long distance relationship problems to fix. Talk about this risk with your partner. And here are some things that will help prevent that from happening:. Have you stalled in life? But this will only make you more depressed in the short term and hurt you in the long run! Do not spend every spare minute talking to your partner or daydreaming about said partner. Do things that make you fitter, smarter, and happier. Do things that interest you. Do these things alone, if need be. Start now. Couples in long distance relationships often speak about how the distance has actually helped them learn to communicate well, and at a very deep level.
However, the opposite can also be true. Distance can also enable poor communication patterns to become established. But especially when one or both of you is busy, it can become easy not to invest in connecting deeply with your partner. In-depth conversations can become fewer and farther in between. It can become habitual to mostly talk about how your day was, or keep the conversation fairly superficial and brief.
Try talking only a couple of times a week for a while so that you can recharge. Do some research and find some fun virtual dates. Then, when you do talk, focus. Make it count. I think everyone in a long distance relationship has moments when they feel a bit crazy, but couples in LDRs involving a ificant time zone difference probably have more than most. Time zone differences make connecting and communicating already a challenge in LDRs even more difficult.
You need an extra dose of empathy and imagination to keep in mind that your partner is experiencing an entirely different part of the day or night. We all feel insecure in ourselves and our relationship sometimes. We all have moments when we feel threatened or inadequate, when fears and worries run away on us, and we get anxious. We all sometimes hit low points, or have bad days, and look to people we love to provide encouragement and reassurance. That is normal, and part of the give and take of loving, trusting, growing relationships.
However, chronic insecurity is a much bigger problem that will take a big toll on you and your relationship over time. And the actions that often arise from insecurity—constantly asking for reassurance, often feeling jealous, making accusations or demands, checking up on people—erode trust and make you look needy and less attractive. If insecurity is something that comes and goes, it can often be be healthy and helpful to voice your insecurities and fears when they pop up.
This practices authentic and good communication, and gives your partner a chance to respond and reassure you, and get to know you better. If, however, deep insecurity is something you know you live with most of the time, no amount of reassurance from your partner will ever be enough.
You will need to learn to reign in your insecurities yourself. Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little jealousy can even spark fresh attraction and a new appreciation for your partner. Uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. Growing apart is a particular pitfall for couples that were established before they started doing long distance.
Couples who like I did start their relationship across distance face almost the opposite problem—the temptation to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly. In some ways, getting to know someone via and phone calls can help your relationship. The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not have discussed if doing other things or, um, each other was a realistic option. On the other hand, falling in love long distance is a risky business. Remember that the rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, do not run.
And no diving in headfirst. Take your time getting to know each other. Approaching your new relationship in a measured manner may yield benefits for years to come. Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen frequently in relationships. They happen when you share the same house with someone. Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred.Long distance dating problems
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The 3 Most Common Long-Distance Relationship Problems