I met my match

Added: Rori Preble - Date: 11.09.2021 09:02 - Views: 22152 - Clicks: 7296

We all know the feeling of hitting it off with a person you've just met. For reasons you can't explain, you feel certain that you and this person are destined for a great relationship, whether it's a romance, a workplace connection, or a friendship. A new study by Ru-de Liu and colleagues , of Beijing Normal University, sheds light on the hidden als that tell you that a new person is a good match for you.

Or will this person provide you with comfort, security, and the means to meet your responsibilities? To test this theory, the researchers first assessed the regulatory style of their participants all of whom were undergraduates by having them complete a regulatory focus rating scale in which they indicated their agreement with a series of statements. Across a series of studies, participants provided ratings of this other person along such dimensions as likability, competence, potential performance in graduate school, and how it would feel to be with this person. Consistently, regardless of the framework in which the new person was introduced, like attracted like in terms of regulatory focus.

Whether in a formal evaluation, such as an applicant interview, or an informal one, in which participants simply rated how much they liked or felt good with the other person, this match of goals was a key predictor of their response to a stranger. Interestingly, there was a slight bias toward preferring a promotion-oriented interviewee when the context had a more promotion-oriented flavor. You might be more likely to want to hire or admit as a student someone who seems ready to step up to the plate and try to advance. Without being able to articulate exactly why, if you share the regulatory focus of an imaginary new person, you are likely to feel better about that person, maybe because you sense this match in perspectives.

How can you apply these findings to your own relationships? How does this compare with your own desires for safety vs. Finding fulfillment in relationships is a complex process that usually takes time, but those early indicators may just help you find that right match for you. Follow me on Twitter swhitbo for daily updates on psychology, health, and aging. Feel free to my Facebook group, " Fulfillment at Any Age ," to discuss today's blog, or to ask questions about this post.

Liu, R. I like you more when your behaviors fit my motivational orientation: The effect of interpersonal regulatory fit on interpersonal evaluation. Personality and Individual Differences, 99, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph. Her latest book is The Search for Fulfillment. Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph. Fulfillment at Any Age. Posted October 15, Share. About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index.

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I met my match

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meet (one's) match