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The vast majority of us identify as monogamous. One study estimated that 4 to 5 percent of people in the U. But "casual dating" is kind of a monogamy gray zone — it's now completely the norm to meet people on apps, and with that shift has come some understanding that you must be swiping on and meeting up with others, too. But you get a few dates in with someone and, depending on who you are and how you were raised and all kinds of variables, you might start feeling weird about the whole thing.
Should you say something about seeing other people? Is that a given? What if you don't want to see other people? Is it too soon for that? Something you were hoping would be fun and easy gets confusing real quick. Take a deep breath. Every situation is different, but here are some guidelines to fall back on if you're stressing. At that point, "there is zero expectation that the interaction is exclusive," relationship consultant Adina Mahalli said. Hold off on having a conversation about exclusivity until you've been on at least three dates.
That's when "it is appropriate to lay down what is going on, such as if there is exclusivity or if there are other people you are seeing," she said. But the conversation doesn't need to be a tell-all. Don't make them feel weird by telling them details of other dates you've been on. Merely explaining that you are still going on dates with other people, but nothing else is serious, is the respectful way to date multiple people. Sound like something that could only happen in a sitcom? Nope, it happens in real life, too. The more people you're balancing, the harder it can be to keep all their information straight.
Staying organized and writing your dates in a planner along with some biographical information can help you keep everything straight, Mahalli said. There's a misconception that casual dating doesn't demand much from you emotionally. But it actually takes a lot to do it well and responsibly. Be prepared to have repeated and honest conversations about where your relationship stands. Dating them is a different and much more complicated story," Schweyer said.
It also means that you know how to explain to them the real score and deal with their reactions as well. Part of that is taking time for yourself. Make sure you're not seeing so many people every week that you have no routine or alone time. Journaling as you meet people is a good way to process your feelings and figure out what you want in a relationship, as well as a way to keep all of those potentials straight, she said. For some people, sex is something ificant that shouldn't be taken lightly.
For others, it's something fun to do with somebody they're attracted to. And there's lots of nuance in between. If you haven't had a talk about your relationship yet, it can be a good time to do it. It's definitely a good time to talk about whether you've been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. It can be really tempting to put all your eggs in one basket if you hit it off with someone.
But that can be setting yourself up for hurt, either in the near or distant future. Don't push for an exclusive relationship too early on. It might mean you're looking for security rather than the right person. Dating multiple people helps to lessen the pain of disappointment if someone does happen to vanish or reject you. Remember, "in a world with over 7 billion people, rejection just means: Next! Reconsider this strategy for yourself. Not everyone is "the one. And be real about what you actually want out of dating. Do you crush on everyone you go on a date with?
Try to get to the root of that within yourself. At some point, you're going to have to break things off with people. Don't feel like you need to lay out all the reasons why it's not working. Unless you've been seeing each other a long time, keep the conversation short and to the point. Ending things with someone can be scary, but "anything after three dates deserves some form of an explanation," Mahalli said.
Don't just pretend you never met each other and let the relationship fade into oblivion. Had that conversation and they still won't leave you alone? Then, and only then, it's OK to ghost them, Mahalli said. Love Work Money Living Health. July 19, Love. If you've been on less than three dates, press pause on your panic At that point, "there is zero expectation that the interaction is exclusive," relationship consultant Adina Mahalli said. Katie Moritz was Rewire's senior editor from She is a Pisces who enjoys thrift stores and pho.
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Why You Should Date More Than One Person At A Time — And Why You Shouldn’t